Probably all oldies, but made me laugh

[Bill in Oregon]

I sure do miss my Pac-12 football ...

> "Gentlemen, it is better to have died a small boy than to fumble the
> football".....
> - John Heisman
>
> "I make my practices real hard because if a player is a quitter, I
> want him to quit in practice, not in a game."
> – Bear Bryant / Alabama
>
> " It isn't necessary to see a good tackle, you can hear it!”
> - Knute Rockne / Notre Dame
>
> "At Georgia Southern, we don't cheat. That costs money, and we don't
> have any."
> – Erik Russell / Georgia Southern
>
> "The man who complains about the way the ball bounces is likely to be
> the one who dropped it."
> - Lou Holtz / Arkansas - Notre Dame
>
> "When you win, nothing hurts."
> - Joe Namath / Alabama
>
> "A school without football is in danger of deteriorating into a
> medieval study hall."
> - Frank Leahy / Notre Dame
>
> "There's nothing that cleanses your soul like getting the hell kicked
> out of you."
> - Woody Hayes / Ohio State
>
> "I don't expect to win enough games to be put on NCAA probation. I
> just want to win enough to warrant an investigation."
> - Bob Devaney / Nebraska
>
> "In Alabama, an atheist is someone who doesn't believe in Bear Bryant."
> - Wally Butts / Georgia
>
> "I never graduated from Iowa. I was only there for two terms -
> Truman's and Eisenhower's."
> – Alex Karras / Iowa
>
> "My advice to defensive players is to take the shortest route to the
> ball, and arrive in a bad humor.”
> - Bowden Wyatt / Tennessee
>
> "I could have been a Rhodes Scholar except for my grades."
> - Duffy Daugherty / Michigan State
>
> "Always remember Goliath was a 40-point favorite over David."
> - Shug Jordan / Auburn
>
> "I asked Darrell Royal, the coach of the Texas Longhorns, why he
> didn't recruit me ." He said, "Well, Walt, we took a look at you, and
> you weren't any good."
> - Walt Garrison / Oklahoma State
>
> "Son, you've got a good engine, but your hands aren't on the steering
> wheel"
> - Bobby Bowden / Florida State
>
> "Football is NOT a contact sport, it is a collision sport. DANCING is
> a contact sport."
> Duffy Daugherty / Michigan State
>
> After USC lost 51-0 to Notre Dame, his post-game message to his team
> was; "All those who need showers, take them"
> - John McKay / USC
>
> " If lessons are learned in defeat, our team is getting a great
> education.”
> - Murray Warmath / Minnesota
>
> "The only qualifications for a lineman are to be big and dumb To be a
> back, you only have to be dumb."
> - Knute Rockne / Notre Dame
>
> "We live one day at a time and scratch where it itches"
> - Darrell Royal / Texas
>
> "We didn't tackle well today, but we made up for it by not blocking."
> - John McKay / USC
>
> "I've found that prayers work best when you have big players."
> - Knute Rockne / Notre Dame
>
> Ohio State's Urban Meyer on one of his players: "He doesn't know the
> meaning of the word fear. In fact, I just saw his grades and he
> doesn't know the meaning of a lot of words.”
>
> Why do Auburn fans wear orange? So they can dress that way for the
> game on Saturday, go hunting on Sunday, and pick up trash on Monday.
>
> What does the average Alabama player get on his SATs? Drool.
>
> How did the Auburn football player die from drinking milk? The cow
> fell on him.
>
> Two Texas A&M football players were walking in the woods. One of them
> said, "Look, a dead bird." The other looked up in the sky and said,
> "Where?"
>
> What do you say to a Florida State University football player dressed
> in a three-piece suit? "Will the defendant please rise."
>
> If three Rutgers football players are in the same car, who is driving?
> The police officer.
>
> How can you tell if a Clemson football player has a girlfriend?
> There's tobacco juice on both sides of the pickup truck.
>
> What do you get when you put 32 Arkansas cheerleaders in one room? A
> full set of teeth
>
> University of Michigan Coach Jim Harbaugh is only going to dress half
> of his players for the game this week. The other half will have to
> dress themselves.
>
> How is the Kansas football team like an opossum? They play dead at
> home and get killed on the road
>
> How do you get a former University of Miami football player off your
> porch? Pay him for the pizza

[FWiedner]

.

These are a hoot.

[piller]

Hey! I am from Kansas and went to the University of Kansas. Our teams weren't playing dead. They actually were dead! Quit trying to make them sound better than they were.

[Ysabel Kid]

[Bullard4075]

+1 !!!