Stolen: Chuckles

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Pete44ru
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Stolen: Chuckles

Post by Pete44ru »

.

1. Light travels faster than sound - Why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

2. A fine is a tax for doing wrong.

3. A tax is a fine for doing well.

4. He who laughs last thinks slowest.

5. A day without sunshine is like, well…..... night.

6. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

7. Those that live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

8. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

9. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

10. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end-to-end, someone from California will try to pass them.

11. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it for the other foot.

12. The things that come to those who wait may be the things left by those who don't.

13. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day, drinking beer.

14. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

15. God gave you toes as a device for finding furniture in the dark.

16. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

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3leggedturtle
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Location: north of Palacios about 1400 miles

Re: Stolen: Chuckles

Post by 3leggedturtle »

Pete44ru wrote: Thu Aug 03, 2017 2:20 pm .







13. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day, drinking beer.
You should see some of the shacks used for ice fishing, I'd gladly spend a winter in one..

14. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
Then they deserve to be in the dark for neglecting it! YMMV Todd/3leg

30/30 Winchester: Not accurate enough fer varmints, barely adequate for small deer; BUT In a 10" to 14" barrelled pistol; is good for moose/elk to 200 yards; ground squirrels to 300 metres

250 Savage... its what the 223 wishes it could be...!
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Ysabel Kid
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Re: Stolen: Chuckles

Post by Ysabel Kid »

:lol: :lol: :lol:
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piller
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Re: Stolen: Chuckles

Post by piller »

Number 8 is because of the law of nature that nature can always build a better idiot even when something is made to be idiot proof.

A rancher back where I am from had a pickup which leaked oil. He was too lazy to get it fixed, so he put cans of oil in it and told the hired hands to check the oil level daily. Nope! Didn't happen. After hearing the pickup come back to the house in the evening just clattering like tank treads on rocky ground every evening for a month or more, he rigged up a kill switch. When the oil got low enough that the check engine light came on, the kill switch interrupted the ignition. The truck would not run until you put oil in it or pressed the override button in which he hid under the glove box. He put the override in just in case there wasn't a can of oil left in the cab of the truck. Less than a week later, the truck came back for the evening with the engine rattling like a hailstorm on a tin roof. The idiot driving it had found the override button and was sitting so he could steer with his left hand, press the gas with his left foot, and his right finger on the override button. When he stopped, the rancher opened the door to find 5 fresh cans of oil on the floor. He asked why in the h... that the oil was still there. The idiot said that he couldn't figure out why he should waste good oil on that old clunker. Stan fired him on the spot. He idiot proofed the truck and nature found a better idiot.
D. Brian Casady
Quid Llatine Dictum Sit, Altum Viditur.
Advanced is being able to do the basics while your leg is on fire---Bill Jeans
Don't ever take a fence down until you know why it was put up---Robert Frost
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gamekeeper
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Re: Stolen: Chuckles

Post by gamekeeper »

:lol: :lol: :lol: I must remember those.
If more men loved and cherished their wives as much as I love bacon the world would be a much better place.
Bill in Oregon
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Re: Stolen: Chuckles

Post by Bill in Oregon »

Stealing and forwarding.

:lol:
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